Egg Battle

Today was Easter. It’s usually one of my favorite holidays because we have this family tradition where we hunt for Easter eggs and whoever finds the most gets 20 bucks and then ends with an egg battle. Because we don’t hard boil the eggs (we did that one year. HORRIBLE idea!) We just color them and our mom hides them. But this year my Easter pretty much sucked. My brothers woke me up at 7 for no reason. Just to ask some pointless question. Just so you know I’m the youngest and have 3 older brothers. And then we had to do yard work or my mom wouldn’t hide the eggs. It was just her excuse to make her yard look nice. But after everyone but my oldest brother, Sean, did our work he was napping. It took him forever to cut some trees that had fallen over in our backyard. But when he finally got that done. So we began the game and right in the middle of it, it started to thunderstorm. We didn’t get to finish the game because none of us felt like going back out after the storm ended. And then I had to cook dinner with Clarke, my other brother. It took like 4 hours because we wanted a lot of stuff and we didn’t really manage how we should cook everything. So I was exhausted and then had to drive back to school. 

Comic

I tried to make a really silly comic strip. It's kind of stupid...but oh well.

WompWompWomp

 I went to Farmville, Virginia on Saturday with my boyfriend to visit 2 friends from high school. One goes to Longwood and the other goes to Hampton-Sydney. We went first to see Greg at Longwood and we got lunch and the plan was after the hockey game we would all go see Ken at Hampton-Sydney. But that didn’t happen, Greg got sick from the food and sent us by ourselves. We had some Jager and were sort of nervous. We joked about getting send to a creepy cornfield because the roads at night are sort of spooky. We got lost on the HSC campus because Ken was drunk and couldn’t explain where he was very well. But we got there and filled in his small dorm room where his roommate was playing some videogame. We decided there that we shouldn’t stay the night and Neil stayed sober.
            So there’s this sketchy trashy girl chilling in Ken’s room and she looks pissed off. She has the same look the rest of the night, she was strange and I’m not sure why she looked like she had a stick up her butt. But anyway I slowly start drinking and Ken starts mixing on virtual dj. He kept yelling things while playing his songs and I just kept laughing because of the ridiculous ness of Ken and his yelling "It needs more wompwomp." He was so messed up so he kept adding strange noises that didn’t really make sense. Eventually we got too hot in his tiny room that we went outside to a deck with 5 guys drinking in a circle. They all seemed young but I didn’t think anything of it. We listen to awful music and make fun of Ken trying to mack on sulky girl. But during the worst Kings I’d ever played, we realize that half of these guys are high school seniors on a visit. I immediately get creeped out when someone drew a Jack. I heard “Never have I ever had sex with a girl” come out of someone guy’s mom proudly, and “Eww that’s gross” to “Never had I eaten out a girl.”  All I could do was laugh and stare at Neil. It was definitely the weirdest night I’ve ever had. 

Some stupid dark humor

But stripgenerator website is pretty sweet. I had never known about it before. I just wish I was more creative.

Detective walks into a diner....

The detective saw his opportunity. He grabbed the waitress’s arm and said, “How do you make such delicious chili? There’s something in it that I just can’t figure out.”

“Oh its our secret ingredient. I can’t tell. Can I get you anything else?” She replied with a coy smile.

The detective shook his head. He has been coming to this diner for a long time and the chili was never this good. But he had other things pressing his mind. There was still a missing persons case. He was stumped and knew that the case was going cold. But at least his chili was delicious.

The waitress’ chili secret was the key to the detective’s case but he would never know because she would never tell that she hid the missing man in the chili...

Dolla Dolla Bills

My best friend’s birthday was over the weekend so I drove back because she wanted to go to a strip club. We’d never been so our group of girls was anxious, excited and nervous. We’ve never been to even a women’s strip club and we were going to Sugar

Daddies in West Virginia, a male strip club. We entered by ringing a doorbell into a smoke filled room. Tee’s mom was already there with her two friends. We sat down and a man named Absolute came to our table to try to talk to us but we were too nervous. It’s kind of funny thinking back to it now; we were nervous of the male stripper. But throughout the night Tee got a lap dance, a few of us got our boobs licked or motor boated, and we got to dance on the stage were we practiced on the pole. The strippers are kind of funny. There were hot ripped ones, chunky sloppy ones, awkward nervous dancers, or we’re so obviously gay. We stayed for a long time, because we just wanted to dance and the people watching was hilarious. There was a cross dresser who gave my friend a dollar after she danced with him. I’m not exactly sure why. All in all a good night and thankfully we were all broke so we didn’t hand out too many ones. 

Jay Oooh Bee

I have a very strange job I think for a college student. I’m my dad’s bookkeeper for his small business. My dad’s a mess and when I was in high school I sort of turned into his secretary to keep him straight. Thus proves to be difficult, as he keeps terrible records of his financial transactions. I do a lot for him, which sucks and is irritating to work for your dad. But it’s a way of helping him out and he pays me for it. I don’t like having to commute home every two weeks, but it’s sometimes nice to be home. My job is lame, but at least it’s a steady job while I’m in school.

Saturday night's alright.

So Saturday after the game, I was excited to go see what would happen on Broad Street even though we lost. I watched the game at my boyfriend’s house and quickly walked to get to the commotion. I was bummed that their run was over and there would be no more games to be really connected to. But after going the long way to get to the action, we made it. People were chanting “Fuck Butler!” and “Final Four!”  It was nice to hear that people were still excited. People were lighting fireworks left and right. Beer was pouring on everyone from spraying cans, while toilet paper was twirling through the sky. I saw a guy climb a street light. And then got scared when another guy was trying to join him. It was fun to be around that much energy. 

Beach Vay Cay

I went to the beach two years ago. I go every other year with my family.  We usually go to Outer Banks but this year we went to Ogunquit, Maine. We drove and once we crossed into Maine we stopped at a gas station. My mom is strange, and likes to pick out the hotties. So at this gas station, we see a guy. She immediately grabs me and asks what I think of him. I always think my mom crosses a line and this guy appears to be working there and when I look over he’s caring a huge trash bag.  He doesn’t seem like the greatest catch, but I look at him and he’s cute.  But I brush my mom off and we continue to travel the 30 or so miles more to our hotel.  The next day I go to the beach by my self and what do I see?  It’s the hottie from the gas station. It creeped me out but then I realized hey this isn’t that far away I guess he’s staying around here.  But then he comes up to talk to me, and I find out he’s kind of funny.  We don’t talk for too long and I head back to catch lunch with my rents. 

So I like to go to the beach late when it’s dark and calm and there’s nobody there. This night, when I think I’m alone staring out into the ocean, I hear a noise coming from a dock. I get scared but I have to check it out. I get closer. Slowly. Now there’s a light starting to form. And then zoom its gone. Terrified I run back to the hotel, but not looking I bump into something, or maybe it’s someone. Its gas station boy! At first I’m happy to see a familiar face, well actually anyone. But then I’m wondering what he’s doing here. And then I see that his hands are different, they look funny. But maybe its my eyes playing tricks on me. No I can’t be seeing  things, something is off with this guy. And then he realizes I know something and he transforms into an alien! What is going on?

I pass out. I wake up a few minutes later to me sitting by myself on the beach. I’m cold, but what happened? Was that all a dream?

Ear Explosions in the Sky!

So this morning, I got up way before the sun was up to catch a plane to go to Austin. Exciting right? I’m going to Austin for spring break to visit my brothers. The flight went great I watched some tv shows on my computer to pass the time. I was sniffling on the plane, which sucked and had to keep getting tissues but it was still good. Until…the plane was landing, which takes around thirty minutes. That’s when I started getting a horrible pain from my left ear and it slowly moved to my right. I kept telling myself it would be over soon and stop being a baby. But then the pain didn’t go away. People have ear pressure irritations, I had before, but nothing like the pain I felt today. It was excruciating, I started crying and rocking and grabbing my ears. It felt like my ear drums were exploding! I was freaked out and wanted to be anywhere but on that plane. I wanted us to land immediately! But time kept passing slowly and the pain was giving me a headache and moving down the back of the neck. After the painful thirty minutes, I thought the pain would be done. The pain was gone, but replaced by an intense pressure that made the fifteen minutes it took to get off the plane miserable. So me freaked out and thinking maybe I’m just overreacting call my mom. She doesn’t understand the seriousness, so she calms me down and says I just need to chew some gum. So I think I had just overreacted, but an hour goes by and I’m watching tv to try to not think about the pressure and I’m chewing gum. The pressure is still there, but it comes and goes now that its almost 1 am.  Story short, the pressure stayed all day, even after I took Sudafed to relieve my sinuses. Even right now, I don’t know if it’s better or if the Sudafed is just tricking my body into thinking it’s ok. Worst plane experience ever!

Jersey

So the Jersey Shore. It sickens me, yet I find myself slightly drawn to it. My boyfriend and his roommate watch it every Thursday and I watch it to but not by choice. The stupidity of the entire cast is so ridiculously funny. I’ve never really liked reality shows, and I don’t really like it, but I know I’ll watch it if its on to get a good laugh. And to hopefully see a fight. The sheer fact that these people can somehow find how to manage to continue breathing astounds even me. 

Speech

The first speech that I can think of that I’ve heard was Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Infamy speech from the movie Pearl Harbor. I’ve also read it before in history classes. It’s a great moving speech that got Americans involved in World War II and to this day December 7^th is a day that has lived in infamy. FDR was a good public speaker and was a very motivational person. I think a good speech needs a good speaker to vocalize it to be “good.” The famous speeches that most people think of are from charismatic leaders and I think “good” speeches need this in order to be remembered.

Poptarts

So my boyfriend woke up from a crazy dream, which he started to retell to me. It had assassins and murder and something very random; specialty poptarts. Which got us thinking about what his subconscious was telling him. It was red-velvet. Sounds pretty good. We then googled to see what specialty pop tarts they had. There was no red-velvet. It was kind of sad. But they do however have various limited editions. Maybe one day they will come out with a Red Velvet Poptarts and that person who told them about the idea will have read this blog and I helped set the idea about. But if not at least I got someone to think about new Poptart ideas. Anyone want to share some?

Advise.

“Hey mom. How are you?”

“I’m very upset. I have never dislike a professor before in my life, but I hate this one. The class is about leadership and she doesn’t think I’m a good leader. She picked her favorites and boasts about how she has friends in high places. She’s so full of herself!

She told three others and me that we were going to be leaders for the class, but later I found out she warned the class to be nice to us. Thinking that I couldn’t handle being a leader, that’s what I do. I’m a coach. I helped start and manage a business. I’m a good teacher.”

“I know mom. She sounds like an idiot and not a very good teacher.”

“I think I should talk to her about it.”

“No I don’t think that’s a good idea. She sounds like the person who would penalize you if you emailed her about her bad teaching skills.”

“But I don’t think I’m a good leader if I don’t even go to her to tell her how she’s treating us. If I ever taught her class I would do so many things differently to get stuff out of each student, not do the bullshit she’s doing.”

“Mom she’s just not worth the time. I mean if you want to show you’re a leader by talking to her you need to do it in person, not via email, and you should be careful in what you say. Or just not let it bother you and make it through the class and not waste your time with her. She sounds like a bitch.”

“Yeah she is a bitch and you’re probably right. I’ll take your advice.”

In defense of i love crack.

In defense of smoking crack cocaine, the other crystalline formed drug. I am how you say, a crack head, a lover of crack cocaine. People often ask me, “Do you ever think about quitting crack cocaine, it’s wack”. Well you know what people, no; I have never once considered quitting crack. This attitude that people have about crack is great, as it just means more crack for me. I mean who doesn’t want to do a drug that is highly dangerous, doesn’t last very long, is expensive, and gives you a heart attack. I think we need to assess the real risk to American teens in the drug war, marijuana. This fibrous plant is wreaking havoc on our nations’ youth, making them into unstoppable eating machines. If everyone were addicted to crack, much like myself, our country would not have an obesity problem. The solution is simple and would kill two birds with one stone, get everyone addicted to crack cocaine; not only would it make our citizens into skinny toothless zombies, but it would also protect our children from the great threat of marijuana.

FIRE! fire. fire?

So everyone has heard about fires all over Virginia in the past few days…well if you hadn’t you have now. So I knew there was a watch going on and no one should be lighting any brush fires. But last night I read that Skyline Drive was on fire, over 1000 acres. So I live like twenty minutes away from one of the entrances so I thought that was scary. But then this morning I got up early checked my facebook when my ex-boyfriend asks if everyone was ok and I had no clue what he was talking about. But he said he had read in the paper that my parent’s farm had been on fire. So I said, “ I don’t think so or else I think they would have told me.” I called my mom and she didn’t answer and my brother texted me back jokingly so I didn’t really believe him. So I finally get a hold of my mom and she tells me the story how part of our property by the highway had caught fire. We don’t really know how since we weren’t burning any brush but since the winds were blowing so strong a spark could have blown from anywhere. We lost all the firewood my parents had been selling and 3 fire departments had to send trucks to put out the fire. It was intense! We were lucky because the fire was controlled before it could catch a hold of our field and then head to the sub-division of houses. I’m kind of sad I missed such an intense fire and I had to hear from someone I barely talked to, to get the full story. 

Scarlett O' Whora

So this past weekend I went home to the county (like I previously mentioned) and I always hope to do homework, but never do and just have a lazy weekend. So last night instead of reading I watched TCM and scrolled upon Gone With the Wind. TCM is having a oscar movie month with all the movies that won some sort of Ocsar. I hadn’t seen the full movie since I was five. So I started watching it, thinking I’m only going to watch it for a little bit I end up watching the whole thing until 2 in the morning. I know this probably sounds lame, but I really enjoyed the movie this time since I fully understood it unlike when I was 5 and didn’t notice the little details that really make the movie. I loved the independent Scarlet when before I thought she was just an idiot. I’m not going to tell every detail that I enjoyed because there is a lot, but it got me thinking about other movies I saw when I was little that I didn’t understand. Like Jenny from Forrest Gump, I liked her a lot but re-watching I see she’s a coke hoe and wondered how it took me so long to recognize. I guess my point is that when we’re young we don’t understand the things that aren’t said. 

Techno Challengo

Last semester for extra credit for my sociology class I participated in a study on facebook. We had to give up facebook for a week and then take a survey explaining our experiences. When I did it last year, I would cheat and get on my boyfriend’s facebook because I realized when I got bored I’d check facebook and become a stalker. So this time I decided to do it for a day but without sneaking on others’ fbs. This time was easier however since I went home for the weekend to watch my parents’ dogs. My brother asked me to baby-sit his daughter for the day so that kept me busy pretty much the whole day and the fact that my parents live in the country and have pretty shitty Internet. So I entertained my almost 3 month niece who slept most of the time so I watched random TV movies. Then when she was awake I did the normal stuff: feed her, change her, But we also took pictures on my photobooth and then the next day posted them on my facebook. We’re just addicted to technology we use everyday. We can get used to it once its not around but when we can easily access it everyday; we’ll use it. 

WAAAACHY SHACK

            Back in high school I was hanging out with my two friends, Josh and Greg. We were really bored and trying to think of something to do, when we realized Greg owned a canoe and an entrance to the Shenandoah River was only a mile away. We went to his shed and found the canoe that hadn’t been used in quite sometime. We flipped it over and it had spider webs and nests in it. It was gross and needed some cleaning, so we grabbed the hose. Finished cleaning we begin to answer the getting the canoe to the river problem. Greg had a Ford Escort and some rope so we had to tie the canoe with rope through the windows and drive slow. But since the drive was a very short one it wasn’t too bad. After settling the car situation and finally ready to canoe the short trip to the ending point; we paddled. Through the trip since it was a very leisure float, Greg and Josh would shake the canoe furiously until we’d tip over, which pissed me off to no extent. I didn’t want to get soaked. I just wanted a nice fun ride, but being my friends they goofed off and made the trip more of a nuisance for me. When we made it to the park where the car was waiting I was relieved so I could finally go home and take a shower. This wasn’t an exciting trip but memorable to me for the  “wacky shack” that Greg and Josh yelled every time they flipped the canoe over.

            I called Greg up to ask his side of the story and most of it was the same except for these details. He remembered thousands of spiders and ants in the canoe, which made Josh shriek like a girl. He also remembers when him and Josh flipped the canoe onto the car that water got all over it and even on the inside. He also reminded me that I hit my head on a rock from their multiple flips which pissed me off so much that I stopped talking to them until we got on land. Also after one of there flips they container with our snacks floated away.

            I don’t think either of our stories are the “right” version because memories fade and get changed. We both have fragments of the story, but there’s no way of knowing if either of us are 100 percent right because no one videotaped or recorded the event.

Warm December, Cold Heart.

December. It’s a warm night in McClean. Strange for winter,

We joke outside on a hammock in between two giant oaks.

We quickly pose for a flash with a smile and a kiss.

 A kiss on the cheek from my best friend.

She had stolen my tie-dye bandana and wore it messily in her hair.

While we’re dangling on the hammock we tease the two boys,

Our clothes are so colorful it looks like a scene from back in the day.

We were sisters and friends who the next day got inked,

We were carefree. We were happy.

But what happened to you? Now that you blame everything wrong on me.

Combination of everything.

 I would say I’m a combination of all of these. I have always been a scholar throughout high school. I am motivated to learn, not all the time but mostly. I am also attending college to get a job. I want to be a nurse and I need to go to school to learn everything about being a nurse. I’m not conflicted because I know what I want to do, but I think that nearly everyone attending a college is pushed into it by society. People need to get a degree to get a better job so they can have the lifestyle they want. I’m also a drifter because I didn’t attend a school that would get me my degree as fast as possible I have been taking my time and enjoying college life. 

Just another monday.....

I was sitting in Human Spirituality on a Monday night waiting for an important call or text. My sister-in-law had gone into labor and I was excited to become an aunt.

Earlier that morning I had awoken from a dream that my sister-in-law had gone into labor by a text from my brother that they were going to the hospital. I was so happy as well as dismayed about the coincidences. So I waited all day and got a message from my mom that she was getting induced around 7. So around 8:30 my dad called and left me a voicemail and then again at 9:00. So I went into the hall to hear the great news. My niece was born but they weren’t ready to name her.

A few weeks earlier my parents deciding that we would play a guess the day and time the baby would be born as a fun family bet. I picked the 22^nd at 9 p.m. because I was born on a 22^nd and figured it was a good day. And that Monday was the 22^nd and Indianna was born at 8:15 p.m. That day was just very bizarre and I felt psychic from my dream and almost guessing the exact time. 

Freshman Year

So last year I went to school at a small college in Staten Island called Wagner College. Coming from a small town in Virginia, I was really excited to attend a college in New York City. But I didn’t know how much Staten Island wasn’t like Manhattan. Yes it’s apart of New York City but it’s very different in many ways. I didn’t like the people and the college was very small and not the right fit for me. Wagner reminded me of a high school with people from the Jersey Shore. There were a lot of people like the Jersey shore and  it was kind of like being on one of the shows, and that's a lot to handle. I did however love going into the city on the weekends. I felt comfortable enough taking the Staten Island ferry and then getting on the subway to go anywhere in Manhattan by myself.

            One time my boyfriend came to visit me and we spent the day in the city. We had some of the best falafel I’ve ever had. We ate the falafel in a nearby park in Greenwich Village and saw a street artist create a giant piece of sidewalk art. It was beautiful with so many colors. I miss Manhattan, but living on Staten Island just wasn’t for me. 

Bucket List

This took me longer than I thought, and definitely doesn't have all of the things I want to do before I die but I thought this was a good start.

1)   Graduate from college.

2)   Join a VCU club team- volleyball

3)    Sky dive

4)    Visit all seven continents, even Antarctica

5)    Go to more VCU sporting events

6)    Become a nurse practioner

7)    Have a family, someday.

8)    Run a half of a marathon

9)    Learn to play golf

10) Learn different dances, like ballroom dancing or belly dancing.

11) Go on a cross country trip with a group of friends.

12) Go to Time Square on New Years Eve

13) Go scuba diving.

14) Go parasailing

15) Be happy in whatever happens in my life.

16) Take care of myself, physically and mentally.

17) Learn to surf.

18) Attend Cannes Film Festival.

19) Go to a masquerade.

20) Attend a gay pride rally.

21) Donate blood.

22) Become really good at ping pong.

23) Visit the other 6 new wonders of the world (I’ve already seen the Coliseum.)

24) Go island hopping.

25) Visit Disney World

26) Go to Oktoberfest

27)  Go to La Tomatina in Spain.

28) Eat a Philly cheese steak in Philadelphia.

29)  Learn another language.

30) Attend a Superbowl