Poptarts

So my boyfriend woke up from a crazy dream, which he started to retell to me. It had assassins and murder and something very random; specialty poptarts. Which got us thinking about what his subconscious was telling him. It was red-velvet. Sounds pretty good. We then googled to see what specialty pop tarts they had. There was no red-velvet. It was kind of sad. But they do however have various limited editions. Maybe one day they will come out with a Red Velvet Poptarts and that person who told them about the idea will have read this blog and I helped set the idea about. But if not at least I got someone to think about new Poptart ideas. Anyone want to share some?

Advise.

“Hey mom. How are you?”

“I’m very upset. I have never dislike a professor before in my life, but I hate this one. The class is about leadership and she doesn’t think I’m a good leader. She picked her favorites and boasts about how she has friends in high places. She’s so full of herself!

She told three others and me that we were going to be leaders for the class, but later I found out she warned the class to be nice to us. Thinking that I couldn’t handle being a leader, that’s what I do. I’m a coach. I helped start and manage a business. I’m a good teacher.”

“I know mom. She sounds like an idiot and not a very good teacher.”

“I think I should talk to her about it.”

“No I don’t think that’s a good idea. She sounds like the person who would penalize you if you emailed her about her bad teaching skills.”

“But I don’t think I’m a good leader if I don’t even go to her to tell her how she’s treating us. If I ever taught her class I would do so many things differently to get stuff out of each student, not do the bullshit she’s doing.”

“Mom she’s just not worth the time. I mean if you want to show you’re a leader by talking to her you need to do it in person, not via email, and you should be careful in what you say. Or just not let it bother you and make it through the class and not waste your time with her. She sounds like a bitch.”

“Yeah she is a bitch and you’re probably right. I’ll take your advice.”

In defense of i love crack.

In defense of smoking crack cocaine, the other crystalline formed drug. I am how you say, a crack head, a lover of crack cocaine. People often ask me, “Do you ever think about quitting crack cocaine, it’s wack”. Well you know what people, no; I have never once considered quitting crack. This attitude that people have about crack is great, as it just means more crack for me. I mean who doesn’t want to do a drug that is highly dangerous, doesn’t last very long, is expensive, and gives you a heart attack. I think we need to assess the real risk to American teens in the drug war, marijuana. This fibrous plant is wreaking havoc on our nations’ youth, making them into unstoppable eating machines. If everyone were addicted to crack, much like myself, our country would not have an obesity problem. The solution is simple and would kill two birds with one stone, get everyone addicted to crack cocaine; not only would it make our citizens into skinny toothless zombies, but it would also protect our children from the great threat of marijuana.

FIRE! fire. fire?

So everyone has heard about fires all over Virginia in the past few days…well if you hadn’t you have now. So I knew there was a watch going on and no one should be lighting any brush fires. But last night I read that Skyline Drive was on fire, over 1000 acres. So I live like twenty minutes away from one of the entrances so I thought that was scary. But then this morning I got up early checked my facebook when my ex-boyfriend asks if everyone was ok and I had no clue what he was talking about. But he said he had read in the paper that my parent’s farm had been on fire. So I said, “ I don’t think so or else I think they would have told me.” I called my mom and she didn’t answer and my brother texted me back jokingly so I didn’t really believe him. So I finally get a hold of my mom and she tells me the story how part of our property by the highway had caught fire. We don’t really know how since we weren’t burning any brush but since the winds were blowing so strong a spark could have blown from anywhere. We lost all the firewood my parents had been selling and 3 fire departments had to send trucks to put out the fire. It was intense! We were lucky because the fire was controlled before it could catch a hold of our field and then head to the sub-division of houses. I’m kind of sad I missed such an intense fire and I had to hear from someone I barely talked to, to get the full story. 

Scarlett O' Whora

So this past weekend I went home to the county (like I previously mentioned) and I always hope to do homework, but never do and just have a lazy weekend. So last night instead of reading I watched TCM and scrolled upon Gone With the Wind. TCM is having a oscar movie month with all the movies that won some sort of Ocsar. I hadn’t seen the full movie since I was five. So I started watching it, thinking I’m only going to watch it for a little bit I end up watching the whole thing until 2 in the morning. I know this probably sounds lame, but I really enjoyed the movie this time since I fully understood it unlike when I was 5 and didn’t notice the little details that really make the movie. I loved the independent Scarlet when before I thought she was just an idiot. I’m not going to tell every detail that I enjoyed because there is a lot, but it got me thinking about other movies I saw when I was little that I didn’t understand. Like Jenny from Forrest Gump, I liked her a lot but re-watching I see she’s a coke hoe and wondered how it took me so long to recognize. I guess my point is that when we’re young we don’t understand the things that aren’t said. 

Techno Challengo

Last semester for extra credit for my sociology class I participated in a study on facebook. We had to give up facebook for a week and then take a survey explaining our experiences. When I did it last year, I would cheat and get on my boyfriend’s facebook because I realized when I got bored I’d check facebook and become a stalker. So this time I decided to do it for a day but without sneaking on others’ fbs. This time was easier however since I went home for the weekend to watch my parents’ dogs. My brother asked me to baby-sit his daughter for the day so that kept me busy pretty much the whole day and the fact that my parents live in the country and have pretty shitty Internet. So I entertained my almost 3 month niece who slept most of the time so I watched random TV movies. Then when she was awake I did the normal stuff: feed her, change her, But we also took pictures on my photobooth and then the next day posted them on my facebook. We’re just addicted to technology we use everyday. We can get used to it once its not around but when we can easily access it everyday; we’ll use it. 

WAAAACHY SHACK

            Back in high school I was hanging out with my two friends, Josh and Greg. We were really bored and trying to think of something to do, when we realized Greg owned a canoe and an entrance to the Shenandoah River was only a mile away. We went to his shed and found the canoe that hadn’t been used in quite sometime. We flipped it over and it had spider webs and nests in it. It was gross and needed some cleaning, so we grabbed the hose. Finished cleaning we begin to answer the getting the canoe to the river problem. Greg had a Ford Escort and some rope so we had to tie the canoe with rope through the windows and drive slow. But since the drive was a very short one it wasn’t too bad. After settling the car situation and finally ready to canoe the short trip to the ending point; we paddled. Through the trip since it was a very leisure float, Greg and Josh would shake the canoe furiously until we’d tip over, which pissed me off to no extent. I didn’t want to get soaked. I just wanted a nice fun ride, but being my friends they goofed off and made the trip more of a nuisance for me. When we made it to the park where the car was waiting I was relieved so I could finally go home and take a shower. This wasn’t an exciting trip but memorable to me for the  “wacky shack” that Greg and Josh yelled every time they flipped the canoe over.

            I called Greg up to ask his side of the story and most of it was the same except for these details. He remembered thousands of spiders and ants in the canoe, which made Josh shriek like a girl. He also remembers when him and Josh flipped the canoe onto the car that water got all over it and even on the inside. He also reminded me that I hit my head on a rock from their multiple flips which pissed me off so much that I stopped talking to them until we got on land. Also after one of there flips they container with our snacks floated away.

            I don’t think either of our stories are the “right” version because memories fade and get changed. We both have fragments of the story, but there’s no way of knowing if either of us are 100 percent right because no one videotaped or recorded the event.

Warm December, Cold Heart.

December. It’s a warm night in McClean. Strange for winter,

We joke outside on a hammock in between two giant oaks.

We quickly pose for a flash with a smile and a kiss.

 A kiss on the cheek from my best friend.

She had stolen my tie-dye bandana and wore it messily in her hair.

While we’re dangling on the hammock we tease the two boys,

Our clothes are so colorful it looks like a scene from back in the day.

We were sisters and friends who the next day got inked,

We were carefree. We were happy.

But what happened to you? Now that you blame everything wrong on me.