Egg Battle

Today was Easter. It’s usually one of my favorite holidays because we have this family tradition where we hunt for Easter eggs and whoever finds the most gets 20 bucks and then ends with an egg battle. Because we don’t hard boil the eggs (we did that one year. HORRIBLE idea!) We just color them and our mom hides them. But this year my Easter pretty much sucked. My brothers woke me up at 7 for no reason. Just to ask some pointless question. Just so you know I’m the youngest and have 3 older brothers. And then we had to do yard work or my mom wouldn’t hide the eggs. It was just her excuse to make her yard look nice. But after everyone but my oldest brother, Sean, did our work he was napping. It took him forever to cut some trees that had fallen over in our backyard. But when he finally got that done. So we began the game and right in the middle of it, it started to thunderstorm. We didn’t get to finish the game because none of us felt like going back out after the storm ended. And then I had to cook dinner with Clarke, my other brother. It took like 4 hours because we wanted a lot of stuff and we didn’t really manage how we should cook everything. So I was exhausted and then had to drive back to school. 

Comic

I tried to make a really silly comic strip. It's kind of stupid...but oh well.

WompWompWomp

 I went to Farmville, Virginia on Saturday with my boyfriend to visit 2 friends from high school. One goes to Longwood and the other goes to Hampton-Sydney. We went first to see Greg at Longwood and we got lunch and the plan was after the hockey game we would all go see Ken at Hampton-Sydney. But that didn’t happen, Greg got sick from the food and sent us by ourselves. We had some Jager and were sort of nervous. We joked about getting send to a creepy cornfield because the roads at night are sort of spooky. We got lost on the HSC campus because Ken was drunk and couldn’t explain where he was very well. But we got there and filled in his small dorm room where his roommate was playing some videogame. We decided there that we shouldn’t stay the night and Neil stayed sober.
            So there’s this sketchy trashy girl chilling in Ken’s room and she looks pissed off. She has the same look the rest of the night, she was strange and I’m not sure why she looked like she had a stick up her butt. But anyway I slowly start drinking and Ken starts mixing on virtual dj. He kept yelling things while playing his songs and I just kept laughing because of the ridiculous ness of Ken and his yelling "It needs more wompwomp." He was so messed up so he kept adding strange noises that didn’t really make sense. Eventually we got too hot in his tiny room that we went outside to a deck with 5 guys drinking in a circle. They all seemed young but I didn’t think anything of it. We listen to awful music and make fun of Ken trying to mack on sulky girl. But during the worst Kings I’d ever played, we realize that half of these guys are high school seniors on a visit. I immediately get creeped out when someone drew a Jack. I heard “Never have I ever had sex with a girl” come out of someone guy’s mom proudly, and “Eww that’s gross” to “Never had I eaten out a girl.”  All I could do was laugh and stare at Neil. It was definitely the weirdest night I’ve ever had. 

Some stupid dark humor

But stripgenerator website is pretty sweet. I had never known about it before. I just wish I was more creative.

Detective walks into a diner....

The detective saw his opportunity. He grabbed the waitress’s arm and said, “How do you make such delicious chili? There’s something in it that I just can’t figure out.”

“Oh its our secret ingredient. I can’t tell. Can I get you anything else?” She replied with a coy smile.

The detective shook his head. He has been coming to this diner for a long time and the chili was never this good. But he had other things pressing his mind. There was still a missing persons case. He was stumped and knew that the case was going cold. But at least his chili was delicious.

The waitress’ chili secret was the key to the detective’s case but he would never know because she would never tell that she hid the missing man in the chili...

Dolla Dolla Bills

My best friend’s birthday was over the weekend so I drove back because she wanted to go to a strip club. We’d never been so our group of girls was anxious, excited and nervous. We’ve never been to even a women’s strip club and we were going to Sugar

Daddies in West Virginia, a male strip club. We entered by ringing a doorbell into a smoke filled room. Tee’s mom was already there with her two friends. We sat down and a man named Absolute came to our table to try to talk to us but we were too nervous. It’s kind of funny thinking back to it now; we were nervous of the male stripper. But throughout the night Tee got a lap dance, a few of us got our boobs licked or motor boated, and we got to dance on the stage were we practiced on the pole. The strippers are kind of funny. There were hot ripped ones, chunky sloppy ones, awkward nervous dancers, or we’re so obviously gay. We stayed for a long time, because we just wanted to dance and the people watching was hilarious. There was a cross dresser who gave my friend a dollar after she danced with him. I’m not exactly sure why. All in all a good night and thankfully we were all broke so we didn’t hand out too many ones. 

Jay Oooh Bee

I have a very strange job I think for a college student. I’m my dad’s bookkeeper for his small business. My dad’s a mess and when I was in high school I sort of turned into his secretary to keep him straight. Thus proves to be difficult, as he keeps terrible records of his financial transactions. I do a lot for him, which sucks and is irritating to work for your dad. But it’s a way of helping him out and he pays me for it. I don’t like having to commute home every two weeks, but it’s sometimes nice to be home. My job is lame, but at least it’s a steady job while I’m in school.